Here are a few handy computer programs I regularly use:
- Chrome with AdBlock – Web surfing (without advertisements)
- Calibre with DeDRM – eBook manager (with DRM remover)
- Balabolka with Ivona* – eBook reader (with text to speech)
- Flux – auto dim your screen at night (better for you)
- Gizmo Drive – mount CD/DVD images (iso files)
- iTunes – Music, Podcasts, internet radio
- VLC Media Player – play audio / video files
And some for software development / system admin:
- Cygwin – Linux like layer for Windows
- Beyond Compare* – file diff / merge
- WinSCP – GUI interface to FTP/SFTP
- TCC LE – Windows command line shell replacement
- jEdit – Programmer’s editor
- SysInternals – many useful utilities
- Screen Recorder – record something off your computer screen
- Malwarebytes – scan for and remove malware
- TreeSize Free – show where your disk space went
- Visual Studio Community Edition – IDE
(* Ivona and Beyond Compare are not free)
I talk about this on my blog here and here. Interestingly, many of my friends have also left the church, as has my wife, for her own reasons. I even recently talked to a long time pastor who told me he no longer attends church since, in his words, “it does not feed me.” This is not to say I do not believe in a “higher being”, but I certainly do not believe the tenets of the Christian faith (or any other faith for that matter.) For the curious, my current view of “God” is analogous to the relationship between cells and our bodies. Each cell is a distinct tiny living organism. While each individual cell is of little consequence on its own, when combined together to form your body (trillions of them), the whole (your body) is infinitely greater than the sum of its parts (the cells). Under this analogy, each of us is a cell, and “God” is the body.
Having children is a personal. While my wife and I both like kids, early in our relationship we decided (for a number of reasons) not to have our own children. We enjoy spending time with our nieces, nephews, & god children. For most, the preceding will suffice. Others may want to know what our reasons are. For those few curious folks, here are some of them (in no particular order):
- With the current global population at around 7.3 billion and a projected peak of about 11 billion in 2100, there is no lack of humans on the earth. While our species is in no imminent danger of dying out many other species, with whom we share the planet, are (and in fact many already have.) A large contributor to these extinctions is the number and ecological impact of us.
- There is a risk (increasing as we both get older) of having a child with a severe mental, physical, or emotional handicap. Some of the disorders in our combined families include bi-polar, migraines, Asperger’s, suicidal tendencies, addictive personality (substance abuse), etc. I would not want to subjugate a child to any of the the above disorders.
- As a frequent migraine sufferer, having loud children around the house would compound my suffering.
- A child may die early in life (as happened to my sister) and cause us terrible grief.
- With the extra time and money we gain from not having children, we are able to volunteer and give much more generously to the charities that are important to us.
Some may accuse us of being selfish while others may say we are shirking our duty or avoiding parts of life. We chose to look at things somewhat differently. It is precisely because we care that we have made this difficult choice. I hope the above has helped you understand our decision.
25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about me:
[This was a Facebook challenge from a few years ago.]
- I usually never do these kinds of things.
- My fantasy job is to lead laughter clubs on the beaches of Mexico (or some other warm yet not humid place.)
- I love many kinds of music. Music often touches the very core of my being.
- I need sunshine. I wither and die without it. I must be part plant. I need to move to a sunnier place.
- When I was young and foolish I climbed to the top of a full size electricity pylon (transmission tower.) I could feel the hum of the high voltage cables. Don’t try this.
- Years ago I worked in the cellular phone industry. I have always liked technology. It was only in 2008 though that I got my very first mobile phone. A little late to the party perhaps. It was a BlackBerry Bold though so I hope that makes up for things. 🙂
- I have no TV (have not for years)
- I have no car (since 2008, by choice). We are a part of Modo and Car2go.
- I have never been drunk nor stoned/high.
- I make Sundays a screen-free day. No TV, no computers, no smart phones.
- I (used to) like to play foosball, pool, ping-pong, & badminton with my friends at work at few times a week.
- I also like to snowshoe, hike, river raft, & play beach vollyball with my friends. Not all at the same time of course. That would be a real challenge.
- I love to laugh and help others to laugh. Laughtyer Yoga was especially invented just for me. If you haven’t had a long, deep belly laugh in a while you owe it to yourself to give LY a try. Ask me about it. I attend an awesome weekly group on Sundays. See laughteryoga.org for a club near you.
- I recently did a “10 reasons why I’m glad you are my parents” which was well received. You should try it.
- I have had a personal blog since September 2002. It does not get any traffic but it is a place for me to pontificate, which I enjoy.
- I led a monthly TED (www.ted.com) group at work.
- I also led a monthly Laughter Club at work.
- I love to rollerblade. Especially down long, steep hills.
- I suffer from occasional migraines.
- I am nearsighted in one eye and farsighted in the other. This works out OK for the most part.
- After 37 years born and raised in the Christian faith, I left and never looked back.
- I am an avid student of Near-death experiences and related phenomena
- I can be too loud at times and embarrass people.
- I miss my hair. Come back! What did I do to make you leave?
- Age is a state of mind. I hope I never get old.
Wow, 25 is a larger number than I would have guessed. Did you nod off at about 12? Thought so. 😀
Some exciting things I have done:
- River rafted
- Climbed a hydro tower
- Inline skated down a big steep hill
- Attended concerts (Polyphonic Spree, Phillip Glass)
- Travelled (Canada, USA, England, France, Italy, Mexico, Costa Rica)
- Toured with a choir
- Composed my own music
- Gone hot air ballooning
- Zipline (high and long)
Some exciting things I want to do:
Dialogue vs. Discussion
- We can make better decisions, because we can share together a full understanding of what we both need.
- It’s a lot more fun and passionate. I get to continue discovering the amazing other person who loves me.
- It can be a wonderful path of discovery, not just of my partner, but about me. Often I find that our partner’s thinks better of me, than I do of myself.
Stop Talking, Start Connecting
Create Space for the Relationship
The Steps of Imago Dialogue
When my partner says “No, that’s all”, then I can try a summary. “So, in summary I heard you say that………… “ Then check you got it all. My partner might often say “Well you missed this little bit – and it’s quite important to me that you hear it.”
When I mirror my partner well, they will probably already be feeling that I have heard their point of view, and seen that for them it is valid. But it’s nice to say that too. This part of the process can be quite hard too, if my partner has a very different perspective on things from me. But to be connected, it’s important for me to recognize that what my partner says makes sense for her. Sometimes her view might be so different from mine that I am tempted to think that she must be wrong. But in dialogue, creating the connection is paramount. Who is right and who is wrong doesn’t matter. Harville Hendrix likes to say: “You can be right, or you can be married!” With this process, you might even discover that you can find a solution together where it doesn’t matter whether either of you are right or wrong over this issue, because the underlying pain is what really needs to be addressed. Precisely because you are in relationship with another person, it is healthy to be able to accept that you hold different viewpoints.
Is now okay?
I feel . . .
I love . . .
I need . . .
What’s bothering me is . . .
I heard you say . . . or You said . . .
Am I getting you? or Did I get that?
Is there more about that?
Am I getting you? Did I get all of that?
or Is that a good summary?
I can see how you would see it that way because sometimes I do . . .
Did I get that right?
Copyright: Hunt/Hendrix and Imago Relationships International 2007-2008